So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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