summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
