Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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