There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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