Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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