Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
