It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
