I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize