that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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