If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
