I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
