Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
