He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
