He is an equal opportunity slut.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
