the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
