so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
