you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
