If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
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