why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
