Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Randomize
