So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
