yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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