Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
