these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
