So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
