Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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