just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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