All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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