remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
