i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
