I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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