Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
