She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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