I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
you will always have a special place in my vag
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
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