She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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