Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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