if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
