My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
