why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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