To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize