): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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