im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
