Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
