sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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