ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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