I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
