My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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