I think my vagina is haunted
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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