every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
