I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
