Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I would ride that face into the sunset
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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