Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
