so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just high enough for therapy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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