I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Randomize
