we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
