she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
