Redeem this text for a blowjob
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
