margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
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