I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
