Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
