White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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