She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
