I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
