I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
