I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Randomize
