is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
