i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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