What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
