We named our party play list daddy issues
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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