We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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