True but thats because hes a fetus.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Randomize
