i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I wish you could order shots online.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
