True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
