Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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