I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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