yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
