He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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