before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
that's an acceptable place to lick
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize