I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
He felt like a one man threesome
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
