I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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