The brown eye won't let me do that either.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
